Peridot Plus Onion
by DannyFenton123
Summary: The meeting that was always meant to be. Onion crops up at the barn, causes some chaos and ends up watching Camp Pining Hearts.


"But Percy, you can't go!" Paulette pleaded, tears dramatically streaming down their face. "What if you get killed… or worse, expelled?"

"I have to end this, Paulette." They took a dramatic bite out of their poutine dish. "But… there's one more thing I wanted to give you."

"What is it, my Percy?"

Percy dramatically swept Paulette off their feet. "Thish." They dramatically whispered, then dramatically kissed against the backdrop of a dramatically waving green Canadian flag. The poutine dramatically dropped to the floor and the screen faded to black, dramatically.

Meanwhile, Lapis narrowed their eyes in skepticism. "This stinks."

"I know!" Peridot rolled their eyes. "Percy and Paulette are the worst. It's like the author has no idea how to portray romance!"

"Then… why are you showing this to me?"

The green Gem was quick to come to the show's defense. "Well, it's not gotten to the good part yet! Just wait until Pierre shows up, Lazuli."

Lapis looked back to the screen, where Paulette was dramatically kissing Percy after they had retrieved their friendship bracelet from the bottom of the lake. Pierre was nowhere to be seen.

"Yeah, right." The blue Gem stood up and dusted themselves off.

"But, it's just about to get to the-" Peridot trailed off as Lapis flew away. "Just like Pearl."

They took out their tape recorder, which was rather bent and covered in duct tape after Lapis crushed it. "Log date, 7 21 2. Lazuli does not display any interest in Camp Pining Hearts. I guess I'll just have to wait for Steven to visit tomorrow-"

A sudden zipping sound came from within the tape recorder, and it clunked and died. Peridot growled in annoyance, recognizing this rather persistent problem.

"The tape is jammed, again!" They made to undo the back, but suddenly set it down to the side. "Whatever, I'll fix it later. There's Pierre!"

On screen, Pierre was running up to the couple. "Hey, uh, Percy? You have to stop kissing, uh, for now… there's the three legged race on, remember?"

"Hold my poutine." Percy dramatically placed the object in Pierre's hands before continuing with Paulette. Pierre did not look impressed.

"Fine, I'll find my own partner. But you'll regret this day, because I'm reporting this to the Camp Authority!"

Peridot grinned as Pierre ran off. "And this is the start of Pierre's villain arc, where they try to get Pierre kicked out of camp! But then it backfires and they get stuck on the same side, where they must reluctantly work together and, as they do that, slowly grow closer." The green Gem looked to the side. "Ah, Season 2. I should've showed Lazuli that one, right?"

A strange pale boy with a tuft of yellow hair nodded silently before ripping the back off of Peridot's tape recorder.

"I knew it. Season 2 is so much better than- hey, wait a minute!" They looked back at Onion, who was holding the mangled remains of- "My tape recorder!"

The boy dropped it and ran. Peridot stopped a moment to examine their broken recorder. They pressed the red button, and watched it plop off with a sort of stunned incredulity. Then they shook themelves, gathered the pieces and stood up.

"Nyeh, what is it with people destroying my things?!" They jumped up and slid down the ladder, looking around the barn. "Lazuli! Lazuli! Help!"

The blue Gem flew over and crossed their arms. "This had better be important."

"Some clod broke my tape recorder! But- wait, wait, don't fly away! This isn't like the quantum-locked stone statues thing, I swear! This time I have _proof_ somebody is hiding in the barn!"

They held out the busted tape recorder, over which Lapis cast a frustrated eye. They glared down at Peridot.

"This junk was broken anyway. I don't know why you keep it when there is an entire box of tape recorders in the barn!"

"But somebody broke it more!"

"Yeah, ri-" Lapis suddenly stopped dead.

"What?"

The blue Gem pressed a finger to their lips. "Shhh… do you hear that?"

Peridot listened, and it became apparent there was a sort of rustling sound coming from one of the boxes stacked off to the side. They nodded at Lapis, and the two began to advance. When they got close enough to the one that was shaking, Peridot jumped up and pulled it down.

Onion tumbled out, clutching something to their chest.

"Aha!" The green Gem picked them up, shoving them towards Lapis. "A human child… I think. I was right!"

"Okay, you proved your point! Now can you get that thing away from me?"

Peridot blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, Peridot! Just… stop holding it like that. It looks painful."

"Nyuhhh…" Peridot looked back to Onion, who certainly looked a little uncomfortable with being held by one arm. They set them down on the floor. "…Hello?"

The boy held out something rectangular, which the Gem took.

"It's a tape recorder. Lapis-" Peridot looked over, but Lapis had already gone. They looked back to Onion. "So… You should leave."

Onion blinked.

"I don't understand how you got here; we're in the middle of nowhere… Maybe Steven will know what to do." They frowned, and the ladder caught their attention. An idea started to form in their mind. "Do you watch Camp Pining Hearts, by any chance?"

Onion slowly nodded.

Peridot shoved them towards the ladder, and followed behind. "Then let's go!" They inserted their old tape into the new recorder, and clicked the red button. "Log date 7 22 2…"


End file.
